Thank you for Visiting me!

Homily for my mother, Florence Yusko-Church of St. Joseph, Babylon, NY -  11/15/2018

Fr. Seth, Fr. Jason, Fr. Francis, Fr. Joe, Fr. Ethel, Deacon Barry, my brother deacons, dear friends and all gathered.

On behalf of the entire Yusko family, I want to thank you for your presence here, for your many words of comfort, and even more the many prayers, and Mass intentions you have offered at the death of our mother, Florence Yusko.

I want to thank the dear parishioners of St. Joseph’s, as our mother felt very welcomed with each visit, as I am sure she thanks you for your continued formation of her deacon son.

This week has been trying, as well as inspiring, as many have recounted the virtues with which God has blessed Mom. 

There is one virtue that we can agree that centered mom’s life here on earth.  Her faith.

Emotions well up in each of us, as we grapple with mom’s passing as we think of her impact on our lives. Your prayers and expressed thoughts have given us comfort and hope.

Dr. Rick Hess, one of our parishioners said to me: “Your mother is your first home on earth, she is your first love, first teacher and first spiritual guide.” Florence was all that and more.

Car vacations, backyard family parties, Polish dances, bubble up in my memory. Trips to see Grandma in Southwick, Massachusetts and our adventures in the woods and at the creek with my cousins. Our family fun was driven by a gregarious dad and a reserved mom who managed a household of five children. Mom set the standard, as she and dad sacrificed so all her children could get a proper Catholic education.

As good Catholics, mom made a great effort to spare us from meat each Friday; all-year-round! 

I remember the adventurous side, my mother. Mom made many good dishes, and her potato pancakes were special.   One year she had her “experimental stage” with the potato pancake recipe. Ingredients that God never intended made into mom’s pancakes. Zucchini, squash, spinach, carrots. The question of the week became, “Hey, you’ll never guess what’s in the potato pancakes!  Come to think of it, that’s about the same time Dad’s Friday pizza phrase came about.

Mom had a special interest in hearing about our day, especially about our studies. As precocious young adults, this became annoying, as most of us faced mom’s interrogation after a late night out, waiting up for us to arrive home safe.  

Most recently, as mom’s abilities declined, we learned the value of being present with her and sharing the joys and challenges of our day-to-day life.  Mom wanted to be present to us in life. And near the end when you run out of a conversation, I know time spent, our presence is most cherished.  My friend Bob told me we can account for many things, tally up material possessions, pull up our checking account balances. But the one thing we can never account for is time. The amount of time we have left here on earth. So, the time you invest with someone is priceless.

I have an important question, why are we here? Why are we present here and now?

We come here today because of a relationship with the man represented on this crucifix, the Living God whose presence we adore, and who makes Himself manifest here on this altar in the Eucharist.

Fr. Paul Scalia stated it well: 

                    “It is because of Him, that we do not mourn as others who have no hope. It is Jesus, born of the Virgin Mary, crucified, buried, risen and seated at the right hand of the Father.  We are here because of his life, death, and resurrection.”

It is with this confidence, and the promises He made that we commend Florence to the mercy of God.

Thanksgiving is a week away, when we as a nation, as a family is called to recount our blessings.  Today we look to the blessings of Christ’s sacrifice, His atoning passion, death, and resurrection which provides us the hope of eternal life.

Today, as a family of faith, we are thankful for the blessings God gave Mom. Over the past few days, many have shared their stories of how mom touched their lives. But right now, we remember what God did for mom, and how he blessed her.

The divine source of love, God the Father, Creator, sent His Son who surrendered to a suffering death and was raised in a life-giving resurrection. Jesus died for Florence, He died and rose for all of us and each of us.

We thank God that He bestowed upon her 55 years of marriage to the man she loved, our late father, Eugene. Believe me, behind the scenes mom kept Dad in check. I can only imagine his potential escapades, had mom not pulled the reigns in from time to time.  The "apple" doesn’t fall far from the tree.

God blessed Mom with a deep Catholic faith. She had a keen interest in deepening her understanding of church teachings.  She relied on the power of the sacraments, which lead us to salvation and strengthens us in life’s journey.

God blessed Florence with the virtue of humility. She had the desire to live parish life with Jesus at the center. God infused in Mom, a love for her family, a respect for her Polish roots and the skill to dance a fantastic polka. 

But most important, she was our Mom, Bopcie to her Grandchildren and the matron of our extended family. She was the mother that God gave us for the adventures of family life.

Just hours before her passing last Friday, her hospital roommate recall her conversation with Florence: “Your mother is amazing.” In the last hours before her death. She spoke clearly, pointed to the crucifix on the hospital room wall. “I am on the cross with Jesus” Did mom share in the suffering of Christ? Was Jesus teaching mom about the paradox of His Cross? For we know there is no resurrection, without the crucifixion.  We have our hope, for scripture says in John chapter 14:3 “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.”  

It is difficult to understand why we suffer.  As many of you know, mom suffered in her last days after a terrible fall.

If we are blessed, to become our parents’ caregivers, we grapple with the deterioration of their bodies and unwelcomed limitations.  We question why God would allow suffering and wonder about their “quality of life”.  I have often looked for answers from a narrow perspective. This past week I came to appreciate her humble ways, through her suffering. I learned how humility, the power of prayer, and full dependence on God sustained my mom. We often wonder about someone’s quality of life, we need to recognize the life they give!

Florence was given the dignity as Child of God at baptism. As with each of the baptized here today.  Her gift of service was evident in the daily sacrifices both her and my dad made to provide a loving home and opportunities for our family. She pointed to the salvation of Christ, seldom with words, yet loudly by example. She had a dignity of spirit and her humility became ever clear as she faced death, with an unwavering faith in the hope and promise of eternal life.

As visitors to mom would depart, she would always thank them for their visit.  Whether it was her quiet manner, or her unwavering practice of prayer, I now appreciate how God’s grace sustained mom through the suffering, often with a beautiful smile.

I go back the original question. “Why are we here?”

Maybe it is a personal connection with Jesus, or direct connection with Florence, or knowing of my mom through our family.

I am here because of the relationship my mom had with two people.  First, Jesus, the Divine Source of Love, Father Creator and the loved shared by the Holy Spirit. And secondly her relationship with my father here on earth, Eugene who in cooperation with God, provided all of us with a loving home and a path to faith.  

I am here because of the recipe mom shared with us, live in active relationship with the Holy Trinity, through prayer, celebration and sacrifice.

Today we celebrate what Christ has done for us in His Passion, Death and Resurrection.

We celebrate Florence’s birthday to Eternal Life.

At birthday celebrations, we Polish sing Sto-lat. -  This roughly translates to this:

       "100 years, 100 years, may she live, live for us. 100 years, 100 years, may she live, live for us.              Once again, once again, may she live, live for us, may she live for us!

This song takes on new meaning for me and I hope for you.  

This song speaks of life eternal.

I have no doubt, when mom passed, the love of her life, Eugene, along with her Mom, Tessie and Dad, Walter and countless others greeted her with Sto-lat:

                "She lives for us, she lives for us! Once again, she lives for us!"

Mom was thankful for her blessings. Every time someone came to visit mom, she would say,

“Thank you for visiting me.”

Today, I imagine, her thanking Jesus for His loving presence here today with all of us!