Sales By Appointment Only

Quit Trying to "sell" me Something

Looking back I realized how long I've been in the "Selling Game". As my years begin to sneak up on the milestone of sixty, I feel qualified to spot a pitch artist at work. 

Pitch Artist

The seeds of sales development goes back to seventh grade at St. Martin of Tours Catholic grammar school and Sister Xavier's class. The venerable Sister stood at about five foot two, and no one dared to see if she had eyes of blue, but for sure she ruled her classroom with an iron fist, and what seemed to be an iron ruler. 
As a youngster trained to respect authority, with a deep fear of the religious habited nuns who, in the case of Sr. Xavier seemed to be beyond my ability to calculate age, I endeavored to win her over.

Most everyone in the class was well behaved or worked hard not to get caught by "Xaiver" for even the slightest infraction.  
I remember the specific cadence of her walk down each row of desks, heel to toe, heel to toe, ka-chunk, ka-chunk.  We held our marble notebooks up revealing our completed math assignments along with our parent's signature at the top, or in my case a close facsimile of mom's signature which I practiced with the intensity of a master forger. 

Fertilizing the Field

And then the seed sprouted. I wasn't going to live through my grammar school years under the cloud of fear by this life-sized penguin with a stern look.  I was going to convince her to see me in a new light with my boyish charm. Call it what you will, deep down I knew I could woo her with puppy dog eyes and daily greetings of "good morning sister" at the beginning of the school day.  Day after day I worked the morning mantra, building up my confidence with the rasing of the marble notebook at homework check.  I kept at the game for two whole school years, never really knowing if I had successfully won over the good sister. Would I be able to truly know if I melted the ice and realize a moment of conversion from authoritarian dictator to mother hen preparing to her hatchlings to move out into the world?

The day of reckoning arrived on the very last day of grammar school, and the eighth-grade graduation.   We had Sr. Xaiver for homeroom and today there would be a combination of jitters on our future to begin high school in September and the first life-lesson review from our taskmaster.  Sister Xavier was a daunting presence in our lives and enjoyed the moniker of a single name for her celebrity among the greats of our time, Elvis, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Jeannie (from I Dream of Jeannie), and Xavier! 

Xavier dressed each of us down, student by student with sharp short quips.  "Mr. Barge, I have no doubt you will be incarcerated someday.", "Miss Vanbach keep up the good work, study hard.", "Mr. McKenna, you will end up on either the good side or the bad end of the law." and so on.  

Manners

Having the last name that begins with a "Y", I was the last one to be critiqued. And you Mr. Yusko-a, you are not the sharpest pencil, but at least you have manners!" Yippe, I did it, I charmed her with my manners, okay, okay, I knew I was a lazy student, but at least I had her endorsement as I had diligently delivered daily greetings for the past two years.  

Over the decades, my charming skills would blossom into full-fledged brown-nosing. As I now say, if it worked for Sister Xaiver, it can work on anyone.  

Salespeople are mostly misunderstood.  No one likes to be sold or cajoled into buying something they never wanted or needed. Sure, the stereotypical salesperson is ego-driven, with competitive "A" type personalities, who need constant attention and your approval. 

Our craft in sales is to win people over. This can be accomplished by the negative with the ability to fain concern, empathy, and consultation to win you over. It can also be done through an authentic heart, seeking the good, and to will the good of the other. 

I'm a lousy salesman and a terrible poker player.  The "tell" is often written plainly on my face, and maybe just maybe the risk of being transparent, and the prospect of being "real" seems to be a place for me of contrast between discomfort and contentment.  I often gather stories and the promise of the real to bring out the wonder of spiritual musings. 

Critical Understanding

Those who have come to know my articles, understand the roundabout way to discover life lessons and draw out meaning. Through caustic criticisms I reflect on the angst I hear, hoping to find a way to deeper understanding. 

Having spent some time in the preacher's pulpit, I'm often critical of the Sunday homily or spirited sermon. God knows even in this public forum, I'm always preaching to myself. I believe we all search for deeper meaning and direction, a word of encouragement and consolation. Too often I have heard the joyless pontification of a preacher just phoning in lesson disguised as a homily. 

Winning Us Over

Pope Francis stated on Twitter (January 28, 2020) "The Gospel will not go forward with boring, bitter evangelizers. No. It will only go forward with joyful evangelizers, full of life."

I have been on the inside navigating the well-intentioned "pitch artists" working to evangelize the faith and pull people back into the Sunday pews with a sense of charm.  I grow weary on the debate of what we should bring to our weekly church services in contrast to what we get or don't get from Sunday Mass or Sunday Worship.  I'm tired of being "sold" on the proper way to experience the love of my creator or the proper gestures in my public prayer. I loathe the actions of those who would work to separate us on behalf of God, instead of welcoming all to the altar.  I hope to understand the Church Jesus wants us to be, what we need to be, to draw closer to each other and to Him. 

Bring me to Holiness

Give me a smile, a congregation that welcomes all, authentic joy-filled preachers who speak both at street level and with a theology that connects me to my day and draws me to holiness.  

Give us leaders who reject careerism and institutional "Corporate Jesus" tactics. Help me understand the sacraments which are concrete signs of God's grace. 

Jesus, inspire me to live as you lived on earth and through your saints. 

I'm not looking for a perfect church, but a community which can be present to the needs of my family as well as lending a helping hand to the marginalized in the local community. Give us a church that stops selling us on "coming home", when a house cleaning is in order. 

Sr. Xavier, God rest her soul remains a mystery to me. Undoubtedly she taught in a style that embraced order and discipline. She obviously made a lasting impression in my formative years. Although she was tough, I now recognize her dedication and sacrificial love for her students, buffoons one and all.  The Church is a mystery to me as well. Both human and divine, it has its share of knights and knuckleheads.  

As I dive deeper searching for spiritual direction, driven by prayer, reading, writing, podcasts, and contemplation, I recognize that I'm not alone on this journey. The Divine Source of Love places people in my path, saints and then sinners like myself who give me an opportunity to hopefully see Christ in others and then be Christ to others. 

The journey continues...  

Post Script

I've learned so much from religious Catholic Sisters, nuns whose "sales pitch" for the Church was to be true to the vows of their order as "Brides of Christ" in service. Sure there's the stereotype I've mention here, but all in all some of the best examples of Christ's love in action is the hard work of the good sisters!  I've been taught by Dominicans, Sisters of Mercy and most recently the Sisters of Bon Secours, who taught me through my daughter Faith by their example. 

Dear Sisters, I'm sold by your good works! 

Helpful Article:

https://bonsecours.us/volunteers/blog/welcome-to-your-chance-for-a-new-perspective-advice-from-a-recent-volunteer/