Homily for my mother, Florence Yusko-Church of St. Joseph, Babylon, NY - 11/15/2018
Fr. Seth, Fr. Jason, Fr. Francis, Fr. Joe, Fr. Ethel, Deacon
Barry, my brother deacons, dear friends and all gathered.
On behalf of the entire Yusko family, I want to thank you for
your presence here, for your many words of comfort, and even more the many
prayers, and Mass intentions you have offered at the death of our mother,
Florence Yusko.
I want to thank the dear parishioners of St. Joseph’s, as our
mother felt very welcomed with each visit, as I am sure she thanks you for your
continued formation of her deacon son.
This week has been trying, as well as inspiring, as many
have recounted the virtues with which God has blessed Mom.
There is one virtue that we can agree that centered mom’s
life here on earth. Her faith.
Emotions well up in each of us, as we grapple with mom’s
passing as we think of her impact on our lives. Your prayers and expressed
thoughts have given us comfort and hope.
Dr. Rick Hess, one of our parishioners said to me: “Your mother is your first home on earth,
she is your first love, first teacher and first spiritual guide.” Florence was
all that and more.
Car vacations, backyard family parties, Polish dances, bubble
up in my memory. Trips to see Grandma in Southwick, Massachusetts and our
adventures in the woods and at the creek with my cousins. Our family fun was
driven by a gregarious dad and a reserved mom who managed a household of five
children. Mom set the standard, as she and dad sacrificed so all her children
could get a proper Catholic education.
As good Catholics, mom made a great effort to spare us from
meat each Friday; all-year-round!
I remember the adventurous side, my mother. Mom made many good
dishes, and her potato pancakes were special.
One year she had her “experimental stage” with the potato pancake
recipe. Ingredients that God never intended made into mom’s pancakes. Zucchini,
squash, spinach, carrots. The question of the week became, “Hey, you’ll never
guess what’s in the potato pancakes! Come
to think of it, that’s about the same time Dad’s Friday pizza phrase came about.
Mom had a special interest in hearing about our day,
especially about our studies. As precocious young adults, this became annoying,
as most of us faced mom’s interrogation after a late night out, waiting up for
us to arrive home safe.
Most recently,
as mom’s abilities declined, we learned the value of being present with her and sharing the joys and challenges of our day-to-day life. Mom wanted to be present to us in life. And
near the end when you run out of a conversation, I know time spent, our presence
is most cherished. My friend Bob told me
we can account for many things, tally up material possessions, pull up our
checking account balances. But the one thing we can never account for is time.
The amount of time we have left here on earth. So, the time you invest with
someone is priceless.
I have an important
question, why are we here? Why are we present here and now?
We come here today because of a relationship with the man
represented on this crucifix, the Living God whose presence we adore, and who makes Himself manifest here on
this altar in the Eucharist.
Fr. Paul Scalia stated it well:
“It is because of Him, that we do not mourn as others who have no hope.
It is Jesus, born of the Virgin Mary, crucified, buried, risen and seated at
the right hand of the Father. We are
here because of his life, death, and resurrection.”
It is with this
confidence, and the promises He made that we commend Florence to the mercy of
God.
Thanksgiving is a week away, when we as a nation, as a family
is called to recount our blessings.
Today we look to the blessings of Christ’s sacrifice, His atoning
passion, death, and resurrection which provides us the hope of eternal life.
Today, as a family of faith, we are thankful for the blessings
God gave Mom. Over the past few days, many have shared their stories of how mom
touched their lives. But right now, we remember what God did for mom, and how
he blessed her.
The divine source of love, God the Father, Creator, sent His
Son who surrendered to a suffering death and was raised in a life-giving
resurrection. Jesus died for Florence, He died and rose for all of us and each
of us.
We thank God that He bestowed upon her 55 years of marriage
to the man she loved, our late father, Eugene. Believe me, behind the scenes
mom kept Dad in check. I can only imagine his potential escapades, had mom not pulled the reigns in from time to
time. The "apple" doesn’t fall far from
the tree.
God blessed Mom with a deep Catholic faith. She had a keen
interest in deepening her understanding of church teachings. She relied on the power of the sacraments,
which lead us to salvation and strengthens us in life’s journey.
God blessed Florence with the virtue of humility. She had the
desire to live parish life with Jesus at the center. God infused in Mom, a love for her family, a respect for her
Polish roots and the skill to dance a fantastic polka.
But most important, she
was our Mom, Bopcie to her Grandchildren and the matron of our extended family.
She was the mother that God gave us for the adventures of family life.
Just hours before her passing last Friday, her hospital
roommate recall her conversation with Florence: “Your mother is amazing.” In the last hours before her death. She
spoke clearly, pointed to the crucifix on the hospital room wall. “I am on the cross with Jesus” Did mom
share in the suffering of Christ? Was Jesus teaching mom about the paradox of
His Cross? For we know there is no resurrection, without the crucifixion. We have our hope, for scripture says in John
chapter 14:3 “And if I go and prepare a
place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I
am you also may be.”
It is difficult to understand why we suffer. As many of you know, mom suffered in her last
days after a terrible fall.
If we are blessed, to become our parents’ caregivers, we
grapple with the deterioration of their bodies and unwelcomed limitations. We question why God would allow suffering and
wonder about their “quality of life”. I
have often looked for answers from a narrow perspective. This past week I came
to appreciate her humble ways, through her suffering. I learned how humility,
the power of prayer, and full dependence on God sustained my mom. We often
wonder about someone’s quality of life, we need to recognize the life they
give!
Florence was given the dignity as Child of God at baptism. As
with each of the baptized here today. Her
gift of service was evident in the daily sacrifices both her and my dad made to
provide a loving home and opportunities for our family. She pointed to the
salvation of Christ, seldom with words, yet loudly by example. She had a dignity
of spirit and her humility became ever clear as she faced death, with an
unwavering faith in the hope and promise of eternal life.
As visitors to mom would depart, she would always thank
them for their visit. Whether it was
her quiet manner, or her unwavering practice of prayer, I now appreciate how
God’s grace sustained mom through the suffering, often with a beautiful smile.
I go back the original question. “Why are we here?”
Maybe it is a personal connection with Jesus, or
direct connection with Florence, or knowing of my mom through our family.
I am here because of the relationship my mom had with two
people. First, Jesus, the Divine Source
of Love, Father Creator and the loved shared by the Holy Spirit. And secondly her
relationship with my father here on earth, Eugene who in cooperation with God, provided
all of us with a loving home and a path to faith.
I am here because of the recipe mom shared
with us, live in active relationship
with the Holy Trinity, through prayer, celebration and sacrifice.
Today we celebrate what Christ has done for us in His
Passion, Death and Resurrection.
We celebrate Florence’s birthday to Eternal Life.
At
birthday celebrations, we Polish sing Sto-lat. - This roughly translates to this:
"100
years, 100 years, may she live, live for us. 100 years, 100 years, may she
live, live for us. Once again, once again, may she live, live for us, may she
live for us!
This
song takes on new meaning for me and I hope for you.
This song speaks of life eternal.
I
have no doubt, when mom passed, the love of her life, Eugene, along with her
Mom, Tessie and Dad, Walter and countless others greeted her with Sto-lat:
"She
lives for us, she lives for us! Once again, she lives for us!"
Mom was thankful
for her blessings. Every
time someone came to visit mom, she would say,
“Thank you for visiting me.”
Today, I imagine, her thanking Jesus for His loving
presence here today with all of us!
Thank you very much for directing me to this post. Your mother, while unique, was in many ways like the women who sustained Polish parishes across the USA. They were very modest and it was not until the obituary that you learned that they were 20 years older than they seemed and had impressive accomplishments in their younger years. You were blessed to have her raise you.
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